When my mother died a month ago now, I joined this site and have read some extremely interesting and hopeful articles on life after death and connecting with someone who has passed over to the other side.  One of the things that concerns me in particular - is that I have had events that have occurred where I 'sense' my mother close by in that I have closed my eyes and attempted to listen to her voice.  I ask her questions - and I feel she answers - sometimes making a joke in the way she used to when she was alive.  I did this same thing when my partner died 7 years ago - and could feel that I 'heard' his voice.  However, it is true that my partners 'voice' was always clearer just after he died - now I hear virtually nothing.  My mothers voice - also clear - but I cannot help wonder if on both occasions it was mere 'wishful thinking' on my behalf.
James Van Praagh writes in his book "Healing Grief" the following about his dead mother...

"...People often ask me "Can you read for yourself?" No, I really can't. ...I am too emotionally attached to the situation to know whether it is my own desire to hear something or my own emotions getting in the way of a spirit's message.  In other words, it is very difficult to know if I am creating what my mother is saying because I want her to say something in particular, or if she is indeed giving me her own distinct message..."

I can relate to Praagh in this.  How can we be absolutely certain that it is not just our own emotions getting in the way of the spirit - and the messages we hear from our loved ones are not, in fact, just a creation of our own imagination?

Dream_girl,

The common answer on how to determine
whether or not what you are sensing is
wishful thinking is to ask a question to your
mother about providing some form of information
that you couldn't possibly know, but that you
could later find out from someone else to verify.

Another possiblity is to request, at bedtime, to
meet her in a dream where you will also be able
to see her as well hear her. Then, when you
see her presence, it will give you more proof that it
is really her and not your imagination.

Finally, when you can prove to yourself that life
exists beyond death through your own experiences
then you will know for sure that your loved ones
are safe and sound on the other side.

-mike

A woman asked me to try to find her husband,who had died of a heart atack.I said I would tryTo contact him in the afterlife.I did find him sitting on a bench in a park.I asked him if his name was tom moss.He said it was,and he was crying saying that he cheated on her.He just kept say over and over that he had cheated on her,but he said he loved his wife more than the woman he was with.He then told that he had a bank account that his wife was not aware off,and the name of the bank where the account was.2 weeks later I ran into his wife who verifyed that he did cheat on her,right up to the time of his death.No one knew about this only her sister.They did not even tell her mother.I told her about the bank accout he had,and also the name of the bank.She went to the bank,and sure enough he did indeed have an account there.I did not know her husband and have never even see him.Everything I told her was true.George