Hello friends,

I am at the stage in my life where I am thinking about bringing another human being into this world.  I have mix emotions about bringing a child into this world.  One part of me is screaming at me not to make the mistake of bringing a child into this world of hardship and misery.  Another part of me wants to enjoy parenthood which I feel is a selfish reason to have children.

I remember reading a story from NDE website in which a lady almost died in a plane crash. In her near death experience, she met her future son. Her future son told her that she has to live, so that he can be born on earth. This story echoed in my mind whenever I debate whether to bring a child into this world.

What is my duty as a human being?

Should I use my body as a vehicle to bring others into this world?

Is it wrong of me to feel that bringing a child into this world is a selfish act? I remember feeling angry at my parents for bringing me into this world.

I have visited this website since 2002, and you guys have helped me grow stronger as a person. Because of you guys, I have become more loving to everyone. Even during my lowest points in my life, I understand my purpose on earth because of what you guys have taught me. I must admit though, there are times I think suicide would be the best way out... However, I will not kill myself because I am already here - might as well make the best of it!
But, my child is not here,yet! So, I can do him/her a favor by not choosing to bring him/her into our world. What do u all think?

I am afraid of bringing a child into this world. It will break my heart to see my child suffer through life. I know I will not be able to shield my child from saddness, disappointments, frustrations, despairs, etc...Maybe it is best to  protect my child by not giving him/her the gift of life.

I hope some of you can help me process this issue.

Thank you,
Linh

Linh:

I'm glad you have the courage to share this struggle with us here. It really does carry spiritual overtones, especially these days.

Should you decide to have a child, please first consider reading up on Crystal Children

Doreen virtue has written a book about Crystal Children, The Crystal Children: A Guide to the Newest Generation of Psychic and Sensitive Children and she lectures frequently about these wonderful new souls.

Your pause, your concerns, are valid ones, so reading about the crystals isn't an attempt to divert you from those concerns, but rather some insight into what the Universe is up to these days, and how your potential role as a mother plays into those plans.

Peace,

Herb

Hi, Linh ~

I have been deeply touched by your post...I can feel the struggles inside of you.  Please let me share my thoughts and feelings on the issue you have raised.  I will preface this with the note that my view comes from my personal experience and perspectives about life and motherhood.  As for this life, for every misery I can identify a source of beauty and wonder.  A warm and loving family, dear friends, learning about the source of all life (and the afterlife), a lovely sunrise and a beautiful sunset, a cool dip in the ocean or lake or pool on a hot day, the wonder of a snowflake and the fun of playing in a whole lot of it.  These are just a few things that come to mind on the 'beauty and wonder' front.  Yes, there is a lot wrong in the world.  But there is also a lot that is right.  And as Herb has pointed out, there is much hope on the spiritual front.  Your future child just might be a source of great positive change!  As for motherhood, it has been the most fantastic and incredible and rewarding and challenging experience of my life.  In my opinion, you would not be selfish to bring a child into this world, because even if you were to just be the best mother you could be, this child would be blessed to know the power and joy of your love.  A child who knows love can do amazing things, and also sees the world through the blanket of this love.

Linh, I hope that I have not gone on too much.  I share all of this from my heart.  You need to make the decision that is right for you.  I wish you all the best.

Much love, Sydnei

I think the question is simple.

Simply ask yourself this : If you could would you decide to live your life again (the good and the bad) or simply not exist ?

8)

Dear Linh, Sydnei and Herb say it really well for me as well. I too, am a mother. A mother who wondered if I should abort. Later on in life I did abort. so we have that choice. however when I first learned I was carrying a child when I was 25 I felt this love all around me ( I had twins and didnt know) their spirits wanted to be born and they wouldn't let me back out even though I didn't know the first thing about raising kids, was always messing up it seemed. they don't come with instructions. but wow, what a ride they have given me and still are. without kids and their enthusiam for life, this world would hardly be worth living in to my perspective. they have kept me young, interested in life, and I couldn't have made it this far without them I know. one time they were the reason to keep on keeping on. Now they turn to me and say I was a good mother. that to me is incredible as I didn't see it quite the same way. build your family with love and you will have something quite eternal then.
http://images.bravenet.com/common/images/smilies/affection.gif

Hi Linh,

I believe it's very natural to want kids.
I mean it is in our genes to propagate.

But yeah, this world is a pretty sad place
sometimes and there is the problem of
overpopulation.

That said, you do have the chance to make
the world a better place by giving life to a
loving and caring person.

- Choppy

Dear Linh,

Your story is very touching to me as well.  I believe that each of us not only has chosen to be born into this world, but we each have also chosen the parents we have, the family in which we have been born into, as well as the circumstances that will surround us throughout our entire life.  

Should you choose to have a child, this child would have not only chosen to come into this world of his or her own accord, he or she also would have chosen you to be his or her mother.

The best advice I can give you is to follow your deepest desire regarding this.  If you long to be a mother, then by all means follow your heart.  You are by no means being selfish.  You will be presenting an opportunity for another soul to experience life with the earth.

"The only thing to fear is fear itself."  Each of us is truly safe at all times.  We only believe that we are not.

Love and peace,
Kathy :-)

Linh,


wrote on Feb 22^nd, 2005 at 4:30pm:

I am afraid of bringing a child into this world. It will break my heart to see my child suffer through life. I know I will not be able to shield my child from saddness, disappointments, frustrations, despairs, etc...Maybe it is best to  protect my child by not giving him/her the gift of life.

In my mid 30s I began to think about the same questions you are asking.  At the time I was more concerned about how bringing children into the world would affect my life.  What it finally came down to for me was:

My parents gave up an easier life by taking on the responsibilities of providing for my needs throughout my childhood and allowed me the privileged opportunity of entering this world.  Now it was my turn as a human being to take on that responsibility and offer that to someone else who wanted to come here, because my parents had done it for me.

Bruce

Dear Linh

I thought the same after having my second child,because of the way the world is BUT after having my Third Child ( Which wasn't planned ) I do not know what i would do without him! He has learning problems and has ,and is, still struggling,but he has brought so much love into our lives and we adore him so much! Before we all get to the other side of life, we continue the love we have with our precious family and will carry it over.

Just remember, we have fun here just as we have heartache etc, Life can be cruel,very cruel at times,but can also have wonderful times! I don't think I could imagine life without my beautiful children,they bring a lot of happiness,and they also get it back from us,as parents! It is only you who can decide weather you should bring a life into this world. I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do. It is because your a caring person that makes you question this! Bless you. xx

Hi Linh,

When I was a teenager I had the same thoughts as you do now.  I felt the world was only getting worse and how could I subject little ones to its sorrows and tragedy?  I now have four sons and they are truly my best friends.  If I could never find a good thing to think about myself, they can come up with a thousand!  When you know the love of a child, the companionship of their unconditinal love, you know it was for a reason.  If YOU feel strong enough to do this, your children will make their way and be strong too.  Life, even a not so rich life, is an opportunity. I would never have come to know me without having known my children.  Good luck with whatever you decide.  You should feel good about YOU, either way. :)
Cheryl

Hi Friends!

Wow! Thank you for all the vast inputs you guys have provided me! I knew people on this board would come through by giving me such heart felt responses that literally brought tears to my eyes.

I just want to emphasis the quotes from each of you that helped me come to the conclusion of becoming a mother! Yes!  ;D I am committed in bringing another human being into this scary world, but I will be providing this person with unconditional love.

Again, thank you all for responding and helping decide my future!

" how your potential role as a mother plays into those plans." - Herb

"A child who knows love can do amazing things"-Syndei

"build your family with love and you will have something quite eternal then."- Alysia

"you do have the chance to make
the world a better place by giving life to a
loving and caring person. "-- Choppy

"You will be presenting an opportunity for another soul to experience life with the earth. " - Kathy

"providing for my needs throughout my childhood and allowed me the privileged opportunity of entering this world."- Bruce

"they bring a lot of happiness,and they also get it back from us,as parents" -  goldyflocks

"If YOU feel strong enough to do this, your children will make their way and be strong too" - Cheryl

Hi, Linh,

As a mere male reading your posting and all the lovely replies which helped you to arrive at your decision to have a baby, may I be the first to congratulate you on your decision. You will not regret it. Children can give us untold happiness and joy.

Best wishes for the future,

roger    :)

Dear Linh,

I am very happy to hear that you have made a decision.  Doing that always seems to make us feel lighter, especially when we know it is the right one for us on a personal level.

My greatest learning and most wonderful experiences in life have come from my children who are now grown and have given me the most wonderful and loving grandchildren.  They are all a most glorious gift.  I know you have much to look forward to.

Love, Kathy :-)

Hi,

I know every one has already stressed the points but I just wanted to offer my support about this subject. I have very recenty become the proud father of a beutiful baby girl. She was born on 1-1-05.

I had exactly the same emotions, however these were not until a month before the baby was due. Some people might remember that I had loads of questions about the afterlife and death and this was because I was anxious about what was about to happen. I kept feeling guilty that I was brining another life into this world and sometimes I cried at night because my feelings were so strong - this was totally out of character for me and as a result I got ill and for a few weeks I was totally drained.

Any way, my friends here thankfully guided me towards what I wanted and believed and helped me understand the way things work. One of my questions was "when we have children are these children energies or spirits ready to be reborn" and the answer was yes.

Basically what I am trying to say is that when I look at my daughter there is no question about how I feel, I do occasionally feel guilt but I think that is down to me being prtective etc it iz very rewarding. I think everyone here is right by what they have said a child who is full of love can do amazing things.

My final thought is if Bruce's parents didnt have him, then we wouldnt have this forum to help us, if you have a child they maydo all sorts of amzing things ... but thats my view.

I promise you will never regret having a child and you will be the happiest person you could ever be. Congratulations on your decision.

;D

Dear Linh,

It's so good to see you again!

I had similar feelings. Back then it was the Cold War, pollution, overpopulation etc, plus I didn't think I could be a "good mother". But my first child came "unplanned" and opened the door to a new dimension to life I could never have imagined.My children are young adults now, and have become my role models for their optimism, creativity, courage, strength and humor (they make me laugh like no others!). They and their peers give me hope and fill me with amazement.

On top of that, children stretched my capacity for love, and faith. It is true, I worried most of the time, but looking back, I wish I had given up that habit early!

Trust that your children will help to bring love and healing to the World. And trust that you will allow them to do that in their unique way.

I can't promise that you won't have regrets or doubts, but you will learn and grow and discover...it's like adding color to a black and white world, or going from 2 dimensions to 3-D, you have to experience it to believe it.

Love and Peace, Carolyn

~~Love to you Linh, and ALL the life that you touch.

Linh,

One more thing:

This is a good thing for the world:
"Another part of me wants to enjoy parenthood"

It is not selfish to want to love a child, to raise a child with love.:-)

(my 2 more cents)
Carolyn

Dear Linh~

I just want to let you know how touched I was by your reply!  Thank you so much!  The care and deep love you put into your reply to us demonstrates what an incredible mother you are going to be.  I congratulate you on reaching a decision you feel comfortable with...and, like Kathy, I just know you have so much to look forward to.  

Wishing you much happiness...love, Sydnei

Linh,

Great dilemma to pose!  Having choices can sometimes be a bummer.  As I get older, I like to see the dilemmas posed by the younger generations.  Also I like this thread because it discusses parents and children, a topic dear to my heart.  I haven’t seen my children in a long time, as it seems to me.  Actually it’s probably been over a year since I saw then but we do keep the heart connection going thru phone contact.  

I do want to mention that my experience with having children was one big learning curve. Originally I thought it was all about me teaching them.  That’s how naive I was.  They’re all grown now-one’s mission is to insure that our big companies don’t do funny accounting, the next making sure our California wines are of the best quality, and the last helping to bring the 2005 poker championships into our homes.  Two of them were unplanned and the other; their father and I worked very hard to bring him into the world. (I early on imagined that he was a monk meditating in a cave in a former life?) That one was the most challenging, translated means that I learned the most about being a decent human being from. One of them, so far, has provided me with, what I suspect, is one Indigo child and one Crystal child.  I was devastated and had a systems crash when I had to leave them all with only an average of 10 years each hands on parenting by me.  I decided to step back and give my sons the father that neither of their parents ever had.  They also had the side bonus of a loving stepmother who has since died. I also believe/imagine that the three of us parents sat down with our guides and divvied up our roles or chores that revolved around the raising of the 3 brothers before we all came here.  That may be just a fantasy because I haven’t really checked that one out yet on the other level but I did mail the tale to my former husbands wife and it did help in healing our relationship the year before she died.  (But Hey, the crazy things we do in attempts to heal a relationship) But the upside was that I was able to start my spiritual journey in earnest without the worry of passing my belief systems about spiritual matters on to my impressionable young sons.  My value doesn’t include teaching religion to children except maybe in a very general historical way.  I prefer to model my values, which include my faults and acting like a jerk sometimes as my human right.  

When I was a live-in parent, I had attempted to give them the truth that they were lovable, capable, and unique. I think that the message took because it’s obvious to me that they’re each unique and capable and the love that I feel from them when we talk is palatable to me.  Concerning the unplanned ones, I tend to view them more as having chosen me as their mother.  And if it wasn’t for them choosing me, I would have spent a lot more time debating, as any responsible prospective parent tends to do, the should I and shouldn’t I question.  I was further complicated by their father leaning definitely towards not wanting children.  But then I remembered that I had always wanted 3 sons-3 years apart because I imagined it would be as fun as it was for me having my 3 younger brothers.  My remembering this brought on the should we stay married or not dilemma. We did stay married till the children were here and once I learned to mellow out after taking Gordon’s PET classes and becoming a PET instructor, it was as fun as I had imagined. As far as the difficulty in raising them, it ran both ways, and then I came across Ashley Brilliant’s question, “Is it harder to be the parent of a child or the child of a parent?” and laughed.  And as to an attitude to take towards raising them, I always agreed with Gilbran’s Speak to Us of Children from The Prophet.  It’s right on for me.

To comment on whether or not you should have a child, I wouldn’t dare to persuade you either way except for stating that by having a child you might interpret it as your personal sign that you have hope in the future. I do not envy your 2005’s predicament; there are no guarantees what direction yours or your child learning curve might lead or how you or she/he might react to the experience.  When I was at that point, 1950’s values dictated that of course a woman did have children especially if she didn’t have a career and she had to have a hard working husband to do it.  I usually balked at the word duty because it bordered on the dictate that it was a woman’s duty to have children and I usually   rebelled at the shoulds.  I feel them in my gut and I’ve learned that I need to really weigh them before I automatically rebel against them and cut off my nose to spite my face. At the time, I also felt a little guilty that I was using being a mother as a cop out from getting a high education and a paying career.  Now a days, it’s assumed that the mother has to be prepared to do it all.  I think that’s as sad as the other extreme.  As it turned out, I was the first woman in my family to go to college and started when my first child was only 2 years old.  I finally graduated at 60 years old, over 35 years later and started my first official career within a month of graduation.  Who would of thunk that life for me would have turned out the way it did? But then again, I loosely quote that great prophet, John Lennon, Life is what happens when your making other plans. Or if you believe in God, I pass on the joke, “If you want to make God laugh? Tell him your plans!”

As an aside, when I am in the grips of feeling fearful, I picture them and the love we share, going in either direction in my heart area, and it desolves my fear instantly.

Thanks for giving me this opportunity to blab and share my story regarding children. I hope it helps. It certainly brings me closer to my sons.

Love, Jean

Hello,

is it normal to have an idea of who you're going to  bring into this world...  I don't even have a girlfriend to make babies with, but I have had some intuitions about what that person might be like, and what kind of energies this person will bring into this world. It makes me smile... the impression I get is someone with an inner stillness and balance, and strong will.. a wise soul (wiser than me, that's for sure). I hope it is more than just wishfull thinking, as I would very much like to meet that person :)

A girl with dark hair... raven black hair, which I find curious. It's the colour of the hair that seems most obvious in all these pictures.

nrgstream:

Doreen Virtue has mentioned that an increasing number of couples are seeking-out crystal children to parent.

There was also a call to Coast to Coast AM while she was on the air by man who claimed that a crystal asked him to be a "God-Parent" of sorts.

Seems this fellow once dated a woman who is now married to his friend and pregnant. This child has asked for his assistance in regards to supporting  the woman and her husband, and was concerned that he agree to do so before that crystal child would feel completely safe in this world.

Now, on the face of it, that sounds like a really cool story. The same thing happened to me last summer when I was conversing with an Indigo friend of mine who flatly stated that he knew for certain that he'd entered this life to remain childless.

The only problem is, a crystal kid got my attention right then, and begged to differ. "I need him and my mother to enter this world." I didn’t share that information at the time because it seemed nosey for me to do so, and I felt a little silly. Eventually, I did acquiesce, sharing that, and a lot of other information in that regard with him.

Dr. Virtue says that do "parent-in" a crystal is a matter of intent. In other words, these new parents—who are often Indigo adults that have awakened to who they are and why they're here—agree both HERE and THERE to making such a partnership manifest.

I'm pleased you've shared your yearnings here, in this place, and on this thread.

AS to wisdom, "...wiser than me, that's for sure..." Nah, I don't buy that. I guess you do need to apply care in seeking out your mate. I can’t wait to hear what develops.

Peace,

Herb

Hello Herb... thank you for sharing your experiences with indigos, it helps a lot. I myself I'm trying to figure out my own indigo personality... and the idea of having kids is something I've had the most trouble with. In fact, I've tried not to think about it. Will I ever be "mature" enough to take on the traditional role as a parent.. probably not. However, if my intuitions are correct, our little family will be one of cooperation... more balanced family dynamics.

You're right, "wiser than" is perhaps not the right way to put it. But due to my worries about the future, it's like this person has come through to show me that it's going to be allright. I feel more at ease now than I used to.

(EDIT: and I have an idea of what my soul mate is like.. don't know when I'll meet her, but she is on my mind all the time, so that must mean something :) )

Hi Linh,

After reading this thread, I can see the LOVE and LIGHT that you will be giving to a child. Being the vehicle for bringing in a child now, especially a Crystal child is a wonderful privilege.  Some women just aren't meant to have children. You are not one of them. I feel that, because you are exploring this so consciously, that you have come up with the right decision. Please keep us advised of when you do become pregnant so that we can rejoice with you. ;-)

Much Love,
Mairlyn   :D

Its awkward, because I never clicked on this topic because I saw the word "pregnant" and my manly stupidity was like "you can't get pregnant fool, move on to another topic"...lol! But after reading it, I too have had the same delimma. My wife wants a 3rd child, but I too feel like is it worth it to expose another child to the "ills" of the World and Life??

Well, we don't have a 3rd child on the way now, and I still do not want one, but I know I will have to face this decision sooner or later. Reading these posts does open up my mind alot on the topic. I am the type person who does not believe in playing house....like I HAVE to have a boy and a girl and a dog and a nice car.....I don't like to have children like they are objects or pawns. They come when the time is right in my opinion, and once they do come, they change your life for the better, because NOTHING can teach you about what love REALLY is until you have children...no relationship with any friend, woman, or other can show you what life and love is truly about until you have a part of YOU there to love unconditionally.

I honestly think that without my two sons, i wouldn't even be here because I chose to redefine my values once I had children. I love them so much that I think that it takes away from how much I should love myself and other things! My advice for anyone is have children if it fits into your criteria....but do not force it and know what you are getting into and make sure the environment is right for children and last but not least...PRAY!!

JG--excellent post!   I don't have children by choice.  I believe I'm one of those women who shouldn't, but I have 2 wonderful nephews and I didn't know what love was until they came along.   :D

Hello my friends,

It has been ages since I have been on this message board. A lot have happened to me since I asked the question "to pregnant or not to be".

I have been a new mother since 12/13/05 to a beautiful son who is 9 month-old to date. He is the love of my life. My son, even at this early age , exhibits a strong personality. Sometimes, he is a handful because he seems to know too much as if he remembers being on earth before.

There is a part of me that hopes that he is a reincarnate of my teenage client who committed suicide when he was coming to see me for therapy. As his mother this time around, I think and hope that I will be able to help him live his life to the fullest and that he will not end his life, again.  --Is it crazy of me to hope my son is somebody who died?

Anyways, I am enjoying motherhood and will keep you guys posted of things. =)

Much love,
Linh

I remember you Linh and you've been busy! glad u went ahead and had a child. the rewards will outnumber the sorrows my opinion. maybe as time goes on you will know whether this child is the same as your client, but I don't see that u should be worried to think it is the same soul. stranger things have happened to people and it could be true.
welcome back and let us know when he starts talking if he says anything to confirm your suspicions..hugs, alysia

Congratulations Linh on the birth of your baby. I guess you have been busy for quite awhile.  Your son is definitely someone who died and reincarnated. Perhaps you'll be able to find out who he was with meditation.

Love, Mairlyn ;-)