I am so so torn. I have Stage IVb, ovarian germ cell cancer. I KNOW my life is rapidly coming to an end. I can feel it. i feel myself slowing down. The side effects are horrific, for both myself and my family. Religion/spirituality is of no help to me. I was raised by a fairly eclectic family. Christian, Native American, Irish Witch. I pray to more people than most people even know exist. Mostly I pray to myself. I do believe in a heaven/hell. But I believe that your Afterlife is is many ways of your own choosing, be it conscious or not. The Christian side of be is afraid if I choose when I die, vs. letting nature take it's course, then I will go to hell. Now, if hell is what I deserve, so be it. BUT I have an amazing husband and daughter. I am going to miss so much. My daughter has seen people who were deceased all of her life. She will often tell me about things that happened before either of us were born, or when I was young. Things people she has never met nor seen photos of. Anyways, herein lies my dilemma. I WANT to remain in this world after. I WANT to be able to be there, even if she can not see me, or feel. I HAVE to be able to watch over her. I HAVE to be able to know that they are alright. Obviously there is no one I can ask about this, only someone who has passed on knows what happens. Can anyone shed some light on this for me? My health is declining rapidly. My husband and daughter, and a few very close friends know that if I am comfortable with my soul goes after making the choice to end my own life and stop the suffering, that is my preference. I do NOT want to leave them. I would not make the choice to end my own life out of selfishness. I have been battling this over and over for nearly 11 years. My kid is almost 13, and all she has ever known is a sleepy, sick, useless Mom. We had ONE year, ONE year, this last year, where I was not sick. Or at least did not know it and had no symptoms. Then it came on like a truck. We all knew it was back. Oh boy had it come back with a bang. She and my husband both know what we have ALL been through and fully support my decision. I don't want them going through an extended period of changing my diapers. The moaning and screaming and crying in pain. I have watched others die from cancer. I know not everyone goes out like that, but most do. I am already in unbearable pain probably 4-5 days a week minimum. I can see it in their faces, they can not take a whole lot more of this. Please, time is a big factor here, any advice, answers, resources you can provide would be greatly appreciated. I will check back here daily. Thank you so much for reading and at least contemplating my questions.

Hello Wendy:

Sorry to hear about your difficulty.  Before I say more I want to say that I’ve had numerous spiritual experiences and I am certain that the afterlife exists, so I’m speaking from that perspective.

It could be that you are experiencing as you are because you are a brave Soul who agreed to go through such a difficult experience before you incarnated.  It could be that the same is true for your loved ones.  One of the reasons that we incarnate in this World is so that we can choose love and learn about what’s possible with love.

When your loved ones look out for you, they get an opportunity to concern themselves about another rather than themselves.  So it could be that rather than providing them with hardship, you are providing them with a great gift.

I know that the difficulties I’ve gone through during my life have helped me grow. I’m thankful that I went through such experiences.  If I didn’t do so, growth opportunities this World can provide would’ve been missed.

Regarding how your cancer turns out, you might want to read about Anita Moorjani.  Perhaps your cancer might go away. Even if it doesn’t, well consider this: many of the people who have near death experiences don’t want to return to this World.  They end up doing so despite the difficulty this World includes because they have things to accomplish. This is a choice that is made when a bigger perspective is considered.

As the evidence shows a lot of people experience a death event without returning to this World, even when they leave loved ones behind. It could be that in many of these cases the bigger perspective was considered.

I read of one near death experience where a lady met a man she knew while he was in the World. In his case it was decided that it wouldn’t be best for him to return to this World because he sold drugs and was harming many people including himself.  For the sake of his spiritual progress it was best that he stayed in the spirit World.

Going by some of the things you said it sounds like you understand about love. If you stay focused on love you can feel confident that in the long run everything will work out for the best no matter how difficult the trek is.

Albert

 
 

From my point of view I would be extremely happy to know someone I loved was not gone forever, and even happier to be able to confidently identify who that person is who is contacting me. The word haunting implies a negative vibe in some cases, maybe not as you meant it. But, yes, that's not a level on which I would want to linger for very long after crossing over. I believe I was contacted by my grandmother shortly after she died - she was able to knock a meaningful object to the ground right around the time she died. And she was several states away. This happened only once and never again. I certainly don't feel haunted by her. But I do think of her with love and know she is somehow still near.